do it right now

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do it right now
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Ahhhh! That felt goooood!

Now pardon me while I go change my undies.

never trust a fart

A fart has never lied to me, why wouldn’t I?

You mean all those other farts were LIES?!

There is nothing worse than a disingenuous fart

My God…that fart was truly Presidential.

Jesus fucking *CHRIST.*

Oh that? That’s just a normal day in the life of Diaper Don. He don’t care, he’ll just have one of his sycophants slurp it up for him.

oh its taco tuesday, you KNOW i mean it

Carlin: “I think I’ll do a little reading in the closet today.”

I had a coworker once who called it the library.

Shart like you meant to.

It’s my morning alarm

Well now I have to change my fucking underwear

Maybe a shower?

What, am I meeting the Pope or something?

And if you were you’d have to put on your good vestments.

lay down, put your ass in the air and let it trumpet.

Oh I have. I have, I do, and I will.

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